Guest op-ed for Dissociated Press
By Dave Porschenoy, Owner, BarSchlemiel Sports
Can you imagine the horrors of a world in which people feel free to make fun of rich, pushy Jews like me? Or, even worse, criticize us for committing gen*cide?
Don’t laugh. That world could be coming a lot sooner than you think…unless we all unite to make antisemitism taboo.
There are lots of taboos in this world. You don’t fart at the dinner table. You don’t bet on the Chicago Bears. And you don’t ever, EVER say the word gen*cide.
But for some reason, people feel free to buy neon signs saying FUCK THE JEWS. Right in my very own bar!
We need to make antisemitism taboo. People need to have it instilled deep down inside them that you never, EVER say FUCK THE JEWS in polite company. Or even impolite company. And especially not in the drunken impolite company of MY bar.
Most people, except that one nouveau rich bitch who was trailer trash last week, know the N-word is taboo. Would you prance around with a neon sign saying “FUCK THE N-WORDS” in a blues joint on the South Side of Chicago? I don’t think so! So what makes you think you can walk into my dumb-ass kosher franchise sports bar and order up a big fancy neon sign saying FUCK THE JEWS?
I’ll tell you what makes you think so. You aren’t aware you’re violating a taboo. Because there isn’t one. There is no taboo against antisemitism. But there should be.
That’s why I just got off the phone with several dozen of my fellow Jewish billionaires. We’re ordering our bought-and-paid-for Congressional goyim slaves to pass HR-666, the Antisemitism Taboo Awareness Act (ATAA). Under its provisions, antisemitism will be officially deemed taboo, and nobody will ever, EVER make fun of me again.
HR 666: Antisemitism Taboo Awareness Act
PURPOSE: The purpose of this bill is to make antisemitism taboo, and to make sure that nobody ever, ever forgets it.
DEFINITION: Antisemitism is hereby defined as a certain perception of Jews, including, but not limited to, claims that:
*”Jews are powerful.”
*”Jews run the media.”
*”Jews are vindictive.”
*”Jews are committing genocide.”
CRIMES AND PENALTIES:
CRIME: Saying “Jews are powerful.” PUNISHMENT: Destruction of career and reputation.
CRIME: Saying “Jews run the media.” PUNISHMENT: Vilification by the media.
CRIME: Saying “Jews are vindictive.” PUNISHMENT: Being pursued to the ends of the Earth and having pounds of flesh carved out of you for the rest of your life.
CRIME: Saying “Jews are committing genocide.” PUNISHMENT: One-way ticket to Gaza.
CRIME: Buying a sign saying “fuck the Jews.” PUNISHMENT: Angry tweets from billionaire bar owner.
